faith.

I'm getting over you,

one step at a time.

determination.

I wish I knew how to stop loving you.

the present.

fuck you.

For a long time you meant everything to me.
You still do.
But I'm not going to sit around and deal with this,
you either want me in your life or you don't.
I've made what I want clear,
It's your time to step up.

time.

failure.

I don't know what this is.

It is not love, we are to young to even know what that is.

But the feelings I have for you, they are my definition of what love is.

And you don't even know...

welcome.

Here it goes again.

peace.

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

Caitlin.

passion.

You noticed. Bravo.

immaturity.

If your not gonna make the effort, then neither will I.

really?

He is off limits.

What the fuck is wrong with you.

grey.

Have some fire!

Be unstoppable.

Be a force of nature.

Be better than anyone here,

and don't give a damn what anyone thinks.

There are no teams here,

No buddies.

Your on your own,

be on your own.

realization.

society.

And after a while, you learn that you don’t need anyone else in order to survive. No one is ever going to always be there, no matter what they say or what they promise you. You just gotta suck it up, accept it.

diagnose.

People think depression is about being sad. They think it’s just when you ‘feel down’. It’s not. It’s like a darkness that creeps over you and fills you. It drains all your emotions. It takes everything from you, and leaves you feeling hollow and numb. It’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s…

life.

“I only have two kinds of dreams: the bad and the terrible. Bad dreams I can cope with. They’re just nightmares, and they end eventually. I wake up. The terrible dreams are the good dreams. In my terrible dreams, everything’s fine. Everything’s wonderful and normal and fine. And then I wake up. And I’m still me. And I’m still here. And that is truly terrible.”

yes.

Let's build something. So you can tear it down.

revenge.

You know what hurts most about a broken heart?

Not being able to remember what it felt like before.

betrayal.

That realization that you mean absolutely nothing to someone, and never did.

powerless.

The worst isn't when you are in love with someone who doesn't love you back, the worst is when you are in love with somebody who used to love you..

drown.

Maybe it's better if people just give up when there's no point in fighting for something anymore. When the ship has finally sailed, only a fool would go after it when it's already miles away.

But sometimes, it's a lot better to be a fool to go after what we want and need, rather than to regret everything in the end because we never even tried.

desire.

I want you to want me.

mercy.

I can't wait to hate you

All the things you put me through

I wanna move on

I can't wait to hate you

All the days you left my heart all alone

I can't wait to hate you

This is all crazy

And I can't come to grips with the fact that you're gone

I can't wait to hate you

thoughts.

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

hate.

It's so fucking over.

And I'm so fucking stupid.

cry.

So, it's over,

He's with someone else and you know her,

And you just can't get any lower,

Sit in the dark alone,

And won't answer your phone.

There will be pain but,

Life goes on.

And your tears won't bring him back,

I know you wish that they did,

But it just don't work like that.

I know that healing takes take time,

even your heart has a pace,

But, how much time are you gonna take?

Too much would be a mistake.

beg.

I'm not who I was when you last saw me.

kill it.

scream.

The more I try the less it's working.

problem.

"You got over it before, you can do it again"

I NEVER GOT OVER YOU.

danger.

I want you so badly,

That it is causing me physical pain,

And I have never been so scared.

again.

We screw boys like whores on tequila,

Then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves.

screwed.

What the hell is wrong with me,

I don't hate you at all,

I'm still head over heels in love with you.

anatomy.

What the hell is going on?

Whats the point?

I mean is there a reason for this?

Because if you can think of a reason any reason at all why the universe is so screwed up and random and mean,

now would be an amazingly good time to tell me-

because I really need some answers.

melancholy.

And as the reality sets in I begin to realize I never loved him.

At least not the way I loved you,

Nothing can match the passion and desire I felt for you,

Still feel for you.

No matter how many times I try to delude myself into believing that I have moved on,

It was always you,

It will always be you,

That is the target of my love,

though unrequited it continues.

help.

strength.

please.

and tomorrow.

Tears run down both of my cheeks.

truth.

space bound.

Once you get them, things are never same.

You want them when they don't want you

and as soon as they do feelings change.

And after all this time, It's no longer me that you want

But I love you so much it hurts, never mistreated you once

I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard

I'm pleading, I'm trying to stop you from leaving.

And I would have done anything for you

To show you how much I adore you

But it's over now, it's to late to save our

love.

friends.

I'M A FUCKING MASOCHIST.

fuck it.

Congratulations- you both ripped me apart, bought me to me knees in tears, you've overwhelmed me with so much emotion that I don't ever want to feel anything again. I hope your happy.

forever?

I miss you

I miss being overwhelmed by you

And I need rescue

I think I'm fading away

But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear

I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room

So I wait and I wait

And I run old scenes through my tired head

Of the days we laid by the school and said forever

Was that the best I'll ever be

I miss you

I miss talking all night long with you

And I need this to find a way to your home

My love can you hear me

Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough

Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone

Can't keep my hands from shaking

Stumbling through the wreckage again

But you're gone

drained.

why dont you fuck me over a little more?

I need to start being more careful with my heart.

Pretty soon there will be nothing left of it, if there even is some tiny part of it that has managed to pull through during all this.

He broke it and you put it back together because you were already on the inside, I'm terrified because I know no one will ever know me that way again- I love you with every part of me, I know it's not what you want but it's true. I don't hate you, you will always be my best friend but you are to blame for this empty black hole of a chest, a frozen depth no one else could possibly ever want. That's on you.

a broken dream.

love.

On the first page of our story

the future seemed so bright

then this thing turned out so evil

I don't know why I'm still surprised

So maybe I'm a masochist.

sorry.

And i hate you, with every part of me I hate you. Every cell in body hates you, every beat of my heart hates you, every breath I take hates you. You send me spinning out of control on a daily basis, you cross my mind frequently, you are always there. Your name appears all the time, and all the time I think I can not do this anymore, I can not face to see you with her. But I'm with him, and my hate is eating me alive- so much so that I'm not concentrating on the love I have for him- because the love I have for him is only half the hate I have for you.

at bay.

"I love you"

Liar.

for the most part.

if it's a broken part replace it, if it's a broken arm then brace it, if it's a broken heart then face it

you.

i know we're no longer in each others lives now, and i have no say with what you do or where you go with your life, but please.. with all the stupid decisions you make, just look after yourself. i'm sorry i can't help you walk through life, and just because i'm not there no more, doesn't mean i dont care, it hurts you know

Khalil Gibran

If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?

forever.

And after our biggest fight,

I told you that I loved you.

kickstarts.

I might be holding your hand,

but I'm holding it loose.

scared.

I want you to know I love you.

why?

and again.

Failure again.

sin.

I miss you,

I want you,

The amount I can't have you is almost ridiculous.

reality.

Things are going to be different,

We both know it,
We just don't want to admit it.

please?

passion.

It's me,

It will always be me,

That will never change.

But you will never be mine,

It will always be him.

That will never change.

And that breaks my heart.

Imprisonment.

2 days.

Thankyou.

The truth is, I'm not mad at you. I'm just hurt; and the fact that every time your name pops up on my phone or computer, my heart sinks a little bit deeper. You don't realize what you've made me go through; but I can guarantee you're not doing it again. Thanks for teaching me just how much it hurts to be played with, I learned a lot.

awakening.

When I'm not talking to you, I want to be.
When I'm talking to you, I want to be with you.
When I'm with you, I want it to last forever.
When it lasts forever, I will be forever happy.

I cant say I have ever been so happy,
so thank you for showing me this feeling.

spinning

here it goes again.