you should know.

The glint wont be there tomorrow. the smile will be fake. the eyes will look like glass because there holding back tears. no tears will fall though. I want to show you that I'm happy for you. that this isn't killing me inside. that I haven't cried myself to sleep. that my five year long dream was obliterated and I don't care. Your my friend. and I love you. I am happy for you. but I deserved it just as much. I'm putting on my human face. with no running makeup. with nothing out of place. with nothing for people to stare at. tomorrow your my friend. and I love you. I am happy for you. but the glint is gone. the smile is fake. the eyes are full of tears. I do care.

this is killing me inside.